10 Commandments of Good Parenting
Does your child have behavior problems? Your relationship with your child likely needs some attention.
1. What you do
matters. "This
is one of the most important principles," Steinberg tells WebMD.
"What you do makes a difference. Your kids are watching you. Don't just
react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, 'What do I want to accomplish,
and is this likely to produce that result?'"
2. You cannot be too
loving. "It is
simply not possible to spoil a child with love," he writes. "What we
often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of
showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child
things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or
material possessions."
3. Be
involved in your child's life. "Being an involved parent takes time and is hardwork, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It
frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to
do. Be there mentally as well as physically."
4.
Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child's development. Your child is
growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior.
5.
Establish and set rules. "If
you don't manage your child's behavior when he is young, he will have hard time
learning how to manage him when he is older and you aren't around.
6.
Foster your child's independence. "Setting limits helps your child develop a sense
of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of
self-direction. To be successful in life, she's going to need both."
7. Be
consistent. "If
your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or if you enforce
them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your
most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiable.
8.
Avoid harsh discipline. Parents
should never hit a child, under any circumstances. "Children who are
spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children,"
he writes. "They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use
aggression to solve disputes with others."
9.
Explain your rules and decisions. "Good parents have expectations they want their
child to live up to," he writes. "Generally, parents over explain to
young children and under explain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not
be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment or
experience that you have."
10.
Treat your child with respect. "The best way to get respectful treatment from
your child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg writes. "You
should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else.
Source:
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