What to do When Your Child Misbehaves in Public

We all know that dealing with our children’s misbehavior at home is difficult, but most of us would agree that dealing with our children’s misbehavior in public is the worst.

When our children misbehave in public we feel the combined effects of frustration and damaged pride.  We have to stop what we’re doing to deal with the behavior while we and our children are left open to judgment by on-lookers

- 5 Tips For Good Parenting

Parents Feel Pressured to Win the Battle in Public

I remember my oldest son’s first tantrum in public.  He was about 16 months old and hadn’t had too many tantrums at that point.  In other words, I was a newbie when it came to dealing with tantrums. 

The tantrum was over a bag of bread that was at the top of the loaded grocery cart and within his reach from where he sat.  He reached it and immediately began to squish it.

Now at this point I had three choices.
I could be permissive and let him squish the bread. 
I could take the bread from him. 
I could distract him with something else and swiftly remove the bread.

Well, unfortunately, I panicked because the bread was being squished. I told him “No-no!” and I took the bread from him.

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I parked the cart and waited.  And he tilted his head back and screamed.  A few air-raid-sirens screams later, he won and I lost.  I pushed the cart quickly to the next aisle with my head down, avoiding the stares of strangers.

What must these people think of me?  I let him win.  To have other parents witness my lack of control over my child was mortifying.  I was angry with myself and angry with my child.  And truth is that if I had simply distracted him in the first place we would have gone peacefully on our way. 

Tips for Dealing with Misbehavior in Public

Those people staring at you are just glad it’s not them. Remember you are not being judged as much as you think you are.

Never sacrifice your relationship with your child by using some “discipline” tactic such as spanking, yelling or threatening just because others are watching. Remember don’t be too harsh or too permissive for the sake of others.

Be proactive. The best way to avoid a tantrum is to avoid tantrum triggers.  Is your child hungry? If you’re going grocery shopping, bring a snack.

Set the rules before you enter the place you are going.  If I tell my children “no candy or toys” before we walk into the toy-and-candy-on-every-aisle-store, then they already know not to ask or that if they do my answer will be no.

Don’t be afraid to walk away.  Leave your cart and walk outside with your child until he or she calms.

Are you sensing a theme here?  Relationship, relationship, relationship.  You have no responsibility to the on-lookers.  You only have a responsibility to your child to provide swift, consistent discipline that is firm, yet gentle and loving, in whatever setting you may be.

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