10 Parenting Tips for Preteens and Tweens

It’s typically between the ages of nine and twelve that our cute, cuddly little children, once so willing to climb into our laps and share their secrets, suddenly want little or nothing to do with us. 

1. Don’t feel rejected by their newfound independence. 

It’s appropriate for kids this age to start turning away from their parents and relying more and more on friends, but parents can take their pre-teen’s withdrawal as rejection.

- 5 Tips For Good Parenting

2. Set aside special time with your child. 

It’s often tough to get pre-teens to open up and talk. Laura Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist, suggests establishing a special period of one-on-one time once or twice a week that you spend with your tween.

3. Try the indirect approach. 

When they were younger you could ask direct questions. How was school? How did you do on the test? Now, the direct approach — carpet-bombing them with questions about school and their day — doesn’t work. 

4. Don’t be overly judgmental. 

“At this age your children are watching you very astutely to hear how judgmental you are,” advises Dr. Steiner-Adair. “They are taking their cues on how you talk about other people’s children, especially children that get into trouble — how that girl dresses, or that boy has good manners or bad manners.

5. Watch what they watch with them. 

Beginning in middle school, watching the stuff that your child wants to watch with him and being able to laugh at it and talk about it is an important way to connect and to be able to discuss subjects that would otherwise be taboo.

6. Don’t be afraid to start conversations about sex and drugs. 

The unfortunate reality is that kids are starting to experiment with drugs and alcohol as early as 9 or 10. And according to Dr. Kirmayer, “Sexual development is a big part of this age.

7. Don’t overreact. 

Dr. Steiner-Adair warns against being thethe mom or dad who, in a bad situation, makes things worse. She gives this example: “Your daughter comes in crying; she wasn’t invited to a sleepover. She sees a photo of it on Instagram or Snapchat. The parent says, ‘Oh my god, I can’t believe you weren’t invited! That’s horrible! I’m going to call the mother.'” The crazy parent amplifies the drama, throwing fuel on the pre-adolescent’s already hyper-reactive flame. They make their kids more upset.

8. Don’t be “clueless” either. 

At the other extreme, don’t be a parent who “just ignores stuff,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair. You risk seeming oblivious or unconcerned to kids.

9. Encourage sports for girls. 

Girls’ self-esteem peaks at the tender age of 9 and then drops off from there, but research shows girls who play on teams have higher self-esteem. Girls on sports teams also tend to do better academically and have fewer body image issues.

10. Nurture your boy’s emotional side. 

“One of the really hard things for boys at this age is that the messages from the culture about their capacity for love, real friendships, and relationships are so harmful to them,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair. “They say that anything to do with real feelings — love, sadness, vulnerability — is girly, therefore bad.”

Source:

Watch This Video To Learn...

Things You Should Never, Under Any Circumstances, Say to Your Pregnant Partner