10 Signs You're a Supportive Spouse Who Is There For Your Partner No Matter What
No matter
what life throws your way, having a supportive spouse through the good and the
bad can make all the difference. If, when you're having an awful day, your
spouse will sit and listen to you vent rather than dismiss your issue by
telling you "it'll be OK," you can move on to resolve the situation
knowing that you have the support of your partner.
Or if you're having a great
day by your own standards, even if the rest of the world wouldn't see its
events as anything to write home about, a supportive spouse will be right there
with you, celebrating.
Finding the
perfect person who can be all these things for you can prove to be difficult
and out of your control, sure, but what you can control are your own abilities
to be a supportive partner for your other half. Whether you've got all of these
down pat or could use a hand in figuring out how to be more present and caring
for your partner, read on to see the signs that indicate whether you're on the
right track.
1 You make
time to talk to them about their goals, plans, and future.
It's easy to
sometimes focus on what needs to get done day to day to keep your household
running while subsequently forgetting that it's important to also focus on
achieving future goals and growth.
When you're a supportive partner, you always
make time for your spouse to talk about their goals and plans, both short term
and long term, and to outline what they see for themselves in the future — both
for your shared relationship and for their own self.
2 You
encourage all of your spouse's ideas, from the ridiculous to the genius.
Even when the
idea is for a company that makes boxers for men called "Sausage
Pockets" (yes, that's a real idea I've had to sit through), encouraging
your spouse's ideas is important, and a supportive spouse will always do so.
Whether it's a legitimate idea for how to do something or a silly idea about
what to do for date night, you don't necessarily have to agree with each and
every one, but by encouraging them all in some way (maybe for the Sausage
Pocket idea you encourage their creativity and ingenuity rather than the
product itself), you show your partner that you have their back and support
them no matter what.
3 You take
an equal approach to parenting.
Whether you
stay home with the kids, they do, or you both work, you pay attention to what
your kids need from you both and do your share to make sure you're helping out
as much as possible.
From entertaining the kids while your spouse takes a
shower to changing a blowout diaper if you didn't handle the last one, there
are lots of opportunities to lighten your partner's load and show that you're
in it together.
4 You can
sense when your partner needs a break.
If you're a
supportive partner, you don't need to hear the words "I need a break"
to know that your partner is tired, stressed, or upset and needs a few minutes
(or more) to themselves.
Whether they've been with the kids all day and you
just got home to chaos or they had a seriously long day at work and need 20
minutes to run a relaxing bath, you know when to let them have a little me time
so that they can come back into whatever you're doing together with a fresh
mindset.
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5 You try
to empathise with your partner's problems rather than immediately fix them.
Listening
when your partner talks about a problem they have is so important, but what's
even more important is the way you then respond to the issue.
A supportive
partner knows that sometimes their spouse just wants to hear "I'm sorry
you're dealing with that, that really sucks," instead of a laundry list of
things they can do to fix the issue off the bat.
Sometimes the latter is
necessary and helpful, but usually your spouse will mention they need help
sorting through something or want your opinion on how to solve a problem at
some point during the conversation, which is your cue to lay out the helpful
advice.
6 You
understand that you can't always be their first priority.
Sure,
sometimes it's upsetting when your partner has a last-minute change of plans,
ruining something you two had planned together, but for the most part, you're
understanding. Whether they need to stay late at work, are sleep-deprived, or
just need to reschedule a plan, you can support that need without picking a
fight about their lack of attention to you.
In turn, they'll feel that their
needs and time are being respected rather than feeling guilty.
7 You ask
questions about their day — and actually remember the details.
It's one
thing to ask "How was your day?" in the first place, but it's another
thing to make sure that this mindless, habitual question doesn't become just
that.
If you're supportive of your spouse, you're listening to what they're
really saying about their day, their job, their friends — and remembering the
main details.
Not having to ask "Who's Joan again?" every time your
spouse is talking about their boss shows them you're actually listening and
taking it all in.
8 You
don't tune them out or check your phone when they're talking, no matter what
the conversation's about.
There's
nothing more disheartening and rude than noticing the person you're talking to
one on one is tuning out the conversation — especially if they're your partner.
No matter who initiated the conversation, a supportive partner always gives
their full attention to it.
Sure, you multitask and chat while dinner's cooking
or while getting ready for bed, but you always do your best to listen or at
least give your partner a heads up if your mind is elsewhere or you need to
desperately check your email.
9 You're
their biggest cheerleader.
Whether they
got a promotion at work, are running a marathon, or have mastered a recipe
they've been testing, you're there to cheer them on. For both big things and
small, a supportive partner is ready to congratulate and celebrate wins (even
if it's the simple fact that you opened that pickle jar that had been giving
you some trouble — we all like to win).
10 You
know when to apologise.
You always
know when it's time to take a step back during an argument and apologies.
Sometimes that means apologizing for forgetting to do something, for accusing
them of something, or for picking a fight (whether you ended up being wrong or
right).
Even more so, you understand the difference between apologizing just to
end the argument and actually meaning it and doing what it takes to make the
situation better between you both.
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