Steps to More Effective Parenting
Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in
the world — and the one for which you might feel the least prepared.
Here are nine child-rearing tips that can help you feeling more
fulfilled as a parent.
1. Boosting Your Child's Self-Esteem
Kids start developing their sense of self as babies when
they see themselves through their parents' eyes. Your tone of voice, your body
language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and
actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything
else.
- 5 Tips For Good Parenting
- 5 Tips For Good Parenting
2. Catch Kids Being Good
Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you
react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticizing
far more often than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated
you with that much negative guidance, even if it was well intentioned?
3. Set Limits and Be Consistent With Your Discipline
Discipline is necessary in every household. The goal of
discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control.
They may test the limits you establish for them, but they need those limits to
grow into responsible adults.
4. Make Time for Your Kids
It's often difficult for parents and kids to get together
for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is probably
nothing kids would like more. Get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning so you
can eat breakfast with your child or leave the dishes in the sink and take a
walk after dinner.
5. Be a Good Role Model
Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their
parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you
lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how
you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you're constantly being
watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a
role model for aggression at home.
6. Make Communication a Priority
You can't expect kids to do everything simply because
you, as a parent, "say so." They want and deserve explanations as
much as adults do. If we don't take time to explain, kids will begin to wonder
about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason
with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.
7. Be Flexible and Willing to Adjust Your Parenting
Style
If you often feel "let down" by your child's
behavior, perhaps you have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think in "should"
(for example, "My kid should be potty-trained by now") might find it
helpful to read up on the matter or to talk to other parents or child
development specialists.
8. Show That Your Love Is Unconditional
As a parent, you're responsible for correcting and
guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the
difference in how a child receives it.
9. Know Your Own Needs and Limitations as a Parent
Face it — you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths
and weaknesses as a family leader. Recognize your abilities — "I am loving
and dedicated." Vow to work on your weaknesses — "I need to be more
consistent with discipline." Try to have realistic expectations for
yourself, your spouse, and your kids. You don't have to have all the answers —
be forgiving of yourself.
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