4 Steps to Fit Your Parenting to Your Child's Temperament
Every child is different, so learning their temperament
differences can help you custom fit your parenting style to their needs.
Dr. Sam Goldstein, a
psychologist who specializes in children. He believes these four steps can help
you better understand your child's nature, how it affects the way they interact
with the world and how you can
adjust your parenting to help them be their best selves:
Step 1: Get educated.
First, you must understand and accept your child's disposition
and what is reasonable to expect from him.
Dr. Sam Goldstein
also says to remember that every child is different and can't necessarily be
parented the same way with the same results.
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Step 2: Measure your mindset.
After learning how your child perceives and experiences the
world, you must then manage your feelings and thoughts about it, Dr. Goldstein
says.
"We all think of ourselves as potentially perfect parents
with perfect children," he says. "Parents have to consider their
mindsets about what their child is struggling with."
Step 3: Make appropriate
adjustments.
Next, you can begin what Dr. Goldstein and psychologists call
"environmental management" to address any issues your child has.
"Try and manage the environment in such a way that it gives
the child reasonable opportunities to try things, but doesn't push them so hard
that the probability of success decreases," he says. "Because [if
that happens], they never move forward."
Step 4: Work together as
parents.
Like all parenting, both you and your partner have to be on the
same page about your child and your parenting techniques.
Only when both of you come
to an agreement about your child's temperament—and the chosen ways to encourage
the child—can you raise that child to be her best self.
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